“Train your heart and mind to find the good in everything. There is always something to be grateful for.”
That is exactly what this series is about. Life can sometimes be so hard, emotional, you can feel heavy, lost and sometimes just in a dark place that you know you can get out of you just aren’t sure when or how at that moment in time. It is important that at these times we can dig deep and really find often the simple things that are full of goodness. Small moments in the day, small pieces of nature or humanity which can lift us enough to know that it isn’t all bad and just at least feel good about something even if for a moment.
This month we had to dig a little deeper than usual to #findthegoodness. Usually, I am a pretty happy person and can always be positive and happy. I get down, but I can always pick myself back up. Life can be a mixture of things, just regular things that happen and you can work through to then some tougher times where you just don’t have any of the answers. and maybe never will.
There has been a lot going on in our life in several different areas and we have thought about for some time now, how we as a family can change or modify things to make us all happier, perhaps get rid of some negative forces and in other ways fulfill goals we so far haven’t achieved. I have recently come across some people that don’t look at change and other parts of life the same way as I do. I like consistency in my life and I like my routine so on a daily basis I am not big on change but long term and for me as a person I see change as a constructive and important thing to do. I don’t believe that we should stay stagnant and I think that change moves us forward, makes us learn new things, teaches us something different about ourselves and enhances our experience in this incredibly short time we have here on earth. Change doesn’t always work out for the best, that is the risk. But what if you never found out? Do you want to wonder your whole life what if I took that chance? Do you want to wonder what if I had tried that? And even if you fail, is that a bad thing? Don’t we learn a lot about ourselves when we fail just as much as when we succeed?
I think as we get older we become more afraid of change. We mock people who want to move to the country and start a new life. We judge them and think it couldn’t possibly work. Dreamers. But it could be the best thing they ever do. It isn’t our dream, it’s theirs and perhaps the things that are important to us are not important to them. No one is right or wrong.
At the end of the day, we create our own sunshine and there are always people who are going to want to take away from that. But if in your heart you know it to be right, don’t worry. Go with it. No one has the answers. They just think they do. Or they made mistakes and want to squash your flame because they didn’t have the guts to make a change themselves.
So I had little pieces in between all of this that I knew what mattered the most. Regardless of what happens, I am rich with love and a beautiful family and beautiful friends. I teach my kids that no matter what, I will be there for them, I may not like all that they do but it is not my place to judge. All I can do is give them the skills now to try to make the best decisions and hope they listened.
So in between it all these are my #findthegoodness moments between the February Frills and Spills:
- Rolling the cars. My son from almost day dot has always just enjoyed his car mat and rolling the cars back and forth. Just up and down, creating a traffic line, cars going in here and in there. I did think for a while something of it but as he gets older I realise it is his space. When he is overwhelmed or just needs time to chill, this is it. This is his happy place. The absolute simple pleasure of just being and for him it is calming. Simple moments are beautiful and help us regroup and relax. It is important I never let him lose that and allow him that time. Sometimes I find it relaxing too and I took in that moment recently and understood that it made him happy.
- Wees and Cuddles. No one ever gets a private moment on the toilet and this moment made me laugh and burst with happiness. Yes, I had to go to the toilet and was enjoying this time to myself as you do, when my daughter hurt her arm. I could hear the tears and the wailing so I yelled out to ask what happened. She didn’t know where I was and I told her. In she came, sobbing and sad and I told her it was time for a kiss to make it better and a cuddle. I couldn’t help but chuckle that here I was on the toilet and kissing and cuddling my daughter with my pants around my ankles. Not ideal but beautiful none the less that shows no matter what, their happiness is what matters. The fact it happens in the toilet is secondary. She needed me and regardless of where I was, I wanted her to know I was there. I make her feel better and I make her feel safe and that is all that matters.
- For some reason these last few weeks at school my son has been a bit funny about going. Once he is there he loves it, but just after the weekend he just doesn’t want to go. Last week he put on a bit of a sore tummy. I like to think I know when my son is sick and I didn’t think this week was particularly genuine. I had to come home from work to talk him into going because he hadn’t been actually sick and to us, school is important and something you don’t stay home from unless it’s crucial and we really can’t get out of bed. I also told him if he was that sick he would have to stay in bed all day because that is what happens when you are sick. So off we went to school. I told him that if he felt sick to speak to his teacher and they would call me and if required I would come and collect him. I really expected to get a phone call that day, but I didn’t. When I saw him that afternoon, he said yes I wanted to make it through the day because I knew I could. He was proud and so was I. I told him so as well. When they are proud of themselves my heart fills with happiness. Pat on the back all round for everyone.
So it seems like all my #findingthegoodness this month is all about my kids. Well, this month like I said I have had to dig deeper and those cherished moments make you realise what is important. This month when I have felt stressed and unsure about many things, I keep thinking of them and I can breathe and feel better. There is so much bullshit that isn’t important and these are the things I will be reminding myself of.
What is your find the goodness this month? I would love to share with you. xx