What is it about a change that scares us?

02/05/2016

How often have you sat at work, gazing out the bleary windows that haven’t been cleaned in forever, wondering about what else you could have done or be doing with your life? It’s not like there is something inherently wrong with your life, you just wonder about if you had taken another path or if a sea change presented itself in the future would you be bold enough to try?

I know for me the fear of not knowing if it’s the wrong decision seems to stop me from choosing something different. But until recently society made us feel like what we chose when we left school or in our twenties was the path that we had to stick to. My parents worked the same jobs for 40 years, not that they hated it, but they never thought about changing anything or trying something else.

Have you ever felt like this too?

We become comfortable in our world, it’s easier to just keep moving forward and often financially for a lot of people it is out of the question and sometimes with kids it is easier just to stay put.
If you are like me and live in Sydney, you just become part of the rat race. You finish school and there is pressure to go to university, study, work hard. I can still hear my father saying “you need a good job to get ahead in life, and it helps if you’re beautiful!” You fall into the race to rise to the top, earn good money, move out of home, get married, buy a house, have children. It seems we have mapped out our very existence and how it should be. Don’t get me wrong, I love being married and I love my children very much and I wouldn’t change it for the world but it wasn’t until I stepped off and spent time in other countries and smaller cities and country towns that I thought about if that was the life I wanted for me and my family? Did I want us to be constantly trying to get ahead, to compete with our friends about what car they were driving this week, or what new renovations they had completed this month. What if we had to work but had more time to smell the roses and appreciate what we have, to just slow it down a little.
We want to move out of Sydney, we have for some time but we have struggled with overcoming the hurdle of ‘what if it fails’. The feeling of what if we ruin something that isn’t bad but we hope to be better?

But what if it was better?

barefoot-1149848_1920I think one of the first things to do is to completely change your mindset about it and not think about well what if it fails.  Does it really matter if it fails?  Sometimes it does especially if you have invested a million dollars into it.  Eeeeeek!  But thinking that if it doesn’t work out, we will just go and try something else.  Being positive about treating it like an experience in life and not a hurdle.  Teaching my kids to embrace change and try new things.  God, I tell them to give things a go all the time and I don’t even follow my own advice!!  I think this is the first step.  Throw caution to the wind and take a chance!  I guess one never knows whether it will be the right choice or not, sometimes you just have to put one foot in front of the other and see what happens.

Have you ever made a sea change with your family or thought about making that change?  

I would love to hear other people who have uprooted their families and your decision making process.

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16 Comments

  • Reply Rachel 17/09/2016 at 9:44 am

    I’ve just started a business this year after working in government and not-for-profit organisations my whole career. And those thoughts challenge me every day. It might not work, but I just keep reminding myself that I like this life more, and I like the me that’s living it more too. All the best!

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 19/09/2016 at 9:59 am

      Congratulations on starting your business! A wonderful challenge ahead! Yes I think you have to keep moving and at least try. Good luck with your business too and thanks for reading xx

  • Reply Gloryanna 22/06/2016 at 12:47 am

    The what ifs are the hardest. I tend to thrive with change, but always wonder about the negative. Sometimes it takes A LOT of prayer too. I like the “tip toe if you must” too.

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 22/06/2016 at 7:20 am

      I totally agree. Sometimes it is so easy to get caught up in all the what if’s! But if we never try, we never know but yes sometimes tip toeing is the way to go. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and for your thoughtful comments. 🙂

  • Reply Valencia Renee' 21/06/2016 at 7:28 am

    This post was so refreshing !

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 21/06/2016 at 12:51 pm

      Thanks so much, I appreciate you taking the time to read and your comments. 🙂

  • Reply Eryn Lynum 21/06/2016 at 6:57 am

    Oh my word, this is so familiar! We just moved our family (including our 3 boys ages 4 and under!) from MO to CO, simply because we needed to be in the mountains. It seemed foolish at times. We had a solid job and life and church and friends back in MO. But we knew that we needed to be where we could thrive, and we knew that was out in nature and the mountains. We have not regretted it for a second. The move has been very difficult, it always is with young kids and a crazy housing market, but we did just as your advice says–we tiptoed. One step at a time. And we are so glad that we did! Thanks for a great post.

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 21/06/2016 at 12:58 pm

      Thank you so much for taking the time to read and for your comments! It is so nice to hear other people talk about how they have a great life but still wanted to try something else! So inspiring to hear from others who have done the same thing about the hard times but also how rewarding it has been too. Thanks so much! 🙂

  • Reply Sophia 21/06/2016 at 6:02 am

    I agree. I have taken leaps of faith on so many thing that I was unsure about and it turned out to be good. I have also takes leaps of faith that turned out to be bad. But it is always a learning experience. And it is apart of life.

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 21/06/2016 at 1:06 pm

      Thanks so much for reading and your comments! You are exactly right and really at the end of the day it’s only the things we didn’t at least try that we will regret. I agree it’s all learning. Thanks. 🙂

  • Reply Sarah Clouser 21/06/2016 at 4:33 am

    We almost uprooted a couple of years ago to move eight hours away. It was a hard decision. I was ready for a change, but my husband was not. We decided to stay, mainly because we love our house and location. I sometimes wonder what life would be like if we had moved. You never know.

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 21/06/2016 at 1:08 pm

      Thanks so much for your comments Sarah and reading my post. It is such a hard decision isn’t it! And even harder if you both aren’t completely on the same page with moving. It has to be right for both people. You never know what’s around the corner though. 🙂

  • Reply tineke - workingmommyabroad 20/06/2016 at 10:59 pm

    Loved your post! My big change was when i decided to move to Spain because my bf is from there and has his business there. For my career it wasn´t the best move but for my personal life it was the best :)! Change is scary but you can always make the best of out of it!

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 21/06/2016 at 1:09 pm

      You are so right Tineke! What an amazing adventure and yes career is important but personal life is more important. I am so glad it has worked out so well for you and the right decisions. And you are right you can make the best out of things no matter how it turns out. Thanks so much for your comments and taking time out to read my post. 🙂

  • Reply Shari from GoodFoodWeek 20/05/2016 at 9:25 pm

    We are just about to pack everything up and move from Canberra to Sydney to persue a new business. It is a bit of a leap of faith – especially seeing as we are just about to have a new baby, but teaching my kids to embrace change and try new things is also important to us to here we go.

    • Reply Queenstown Vibes 21/05/2016 at 10:59 am

      Thanks for your comments Shari. Very exciting starting a new business! We have run our business for 15 years so it’s something we are a bit unsure of letting go of but we are also looking forward to possible new business adventures too which is always exciting. Looking forward to reading about your many exciting times ahead. 🙂

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