Doubting Yourself On The Faces of Social Media

11/10/2016
girl talking a selfi and doubting yourself on social media

How often are you doubting yourself on social media?  How often do you judge how you look compared to someone else on when scrolling through all those photos?  Too often I am afraid.

Recently I have had a few times where I have doubted myself on my own media.  Now I know it is in the public eye so scrutiny is everywhere but in between a few comments thrown around in a group about “poor content” not necessarily directed at me, and my own judgement on what I view as good content, I realised I needed to take a good long look at my own judgement of myself.

I have to admit that when I started blogging and became consumed by social media, I didn’t quite realise how much I was putting myself out there.  Sure I am on Facebook and Instagram but my personal profile only allows my friends and only people I choose to view my pictures and all my utterly hilarious status updates.

When I started my blog and started being active on Instagram In The Lyons Den, in particular, I became acquainted with other like minded people.  Other mummies and other people living their daily lives and taking pictures.  It was great, and to this day I still meet some wonderful, supportive, friendly people who like my photos. I was always going to be the girl that just took pictures.  They were never going to be great because I am not a photographer, they were never going to be too white or no shadows because I have 2 light bulbs missing in my kitchen, and it would never be too colourful other than natural because I can’t seem to find any surface in my house that isn’t covered with shit.  And even under the shit most of the surfaces are scratched, dirty , sticky or just old so nothing really ever looks that great.

It is also the same with my In the Lyons Den Facebook page.  I put up memes, share other blog posts that I enjoy, put my own blog posts up there and also share some photos.  Would people like it?  Would they be interested in me like those big accounts that get 7,031 likes?

It was always going to be just me and some stuff and my kids.

Just me.

Just little old me that works, lives a pretty normal life and takes photos.  So it isn’t hard to see why sometimes you find yourself wondering if your photos are good enough?  Is my story and my life good enough? Does anyone really care what I do in my daily life?

There are days when you doubt your images and you doubt your words and likes and dislikes and then you suddenly realise, what am I doing?  Who should it be good enough for?  Who am I trying to make happy?  Why do I constantly say it is “just me”?

This is my fucking life people!  What am I doubting it for?

Another amazing blogger I have discovered recently, The MummySomniac wrote about The Highlight Reel, brilliantly written as always and she is right.  The people who do have all the perfectly styled pictures are completely entitled to and should keep doing so.  She reminded me that I shouldn’t be grumpy with them, which I think I kind of was.  Their reflection is different to mine but that doesn’t make mine bad.

selfie of a mother talking about doubting yourself on social media

My reflection is authentic to me and if only 2,000 people continue to follow me, along with a wrestling company, some nude guys with candles and a few restaurants somewhere in America, then that is okay.  At least I know those people want to follow me for me, not something I am not.

We do put ourselves out there and hope that people like it, it is the world now.  We take selfies and hope we have fans.  It’s all about the numbers, the likes, who has unfollowed you.  But underneath all that, there is a community of other people who are encouraging and telling you how lovely your photos are.  If one article on my facebook page inspires someone then I am happy.

Social media has opened us up to critique others and critique ourselves.  We judge and be judged in a way we have never been before.  But we shouldn’t doubt ourselves and whether our photos are good enough.  They are the stories and pieces that make up our life, no one else’s.  Our memories in little tiny squares representing a week, a day or a year.

I often flick back through my Instagram and see all the photos I have put up and it is a true reflection of my time.  I am definitely not that great at editing them, setting the right backdrop or being overly creative, but it is me.  Some days are boring and I don’t do anything.  Doesn’t mean my photos aren’t worthy.  We should never doubt ourselves because of another photo or compare ourselves to another writer.  If only 25 readers actually read my blog at least they read it because they want to.

We need to stop saying this is “just me”.

We need to start saying “this is me” and be proud of who we are.

As they say, the haters are always gonna hate and people will always judge and critique but you must be comfortable in your own skin and be comfortable with what you portray.  Everyone’s photos are beautiful regardless of what the background looks like.

Do you have moments of doubt on social media?  Feel free to comment below!

 

happy mother and children doubting yourself on social media

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53 Comments

  • Reply Siena Says 21/01/2017 at 10:35 pm

    Loved this! Do I compare myself, all the flipping time!!
    Totally agree it’s about being real. I never had much time for fakers anyway 🙂
    This year for me is all about being myself and not caring what others think! Xx

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 22/01/2017 at 12:46 pm

      That’s awesome and you are so much happier when you are you! But it is definitely hard not to compare! Thank you for reading 😀

  • Reply Chelsea 21/01/2017 at 1:52 pm

    Great read! So the I am weary of my social media posts. Ecstasy if what people will think, but you are right I shouldn’t be( too much)!

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 22/01/2017 at 12:40 pm

      It’s hard not to worry what others think but we should be confident with just being ourselves. Thanks for reading!

  • Reply Simone 17/10/2016 at 9:00 pm

    Absolutely nailed it! I always remind myself that it’s my race at my pace. It’s not about numbers to me. It’s about honesty and connection. Good job!

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 17/10/2016 at 9:37 pm

      I love that, my race at my pace! That is great! Yes sometimes it’s harder than others, but yes honesty and connections are way more important. Thanks for reading! xx

  • Reply Karen Lesh 15/10/2016 at 1:16 pm

    I love this! Great reminder to celebrate us and all our authenticity! I actually wrote a personal Facebook post (not on my blog page) last weekend about my family’s apple-picking outing. Instead of posting perfect pictures, i showed my husband and me (after a few days of not speaking b/c of a fight!) with our kids fighting over a wagon in the background, and then a few images of myself walking home on a humid, drizzly day because our car battery died . . . long story, but the point was that everyone posts perfect apple-picking photos this time of year, and the reality is, I’m guessing, that many of those days are as wonderfully imperfect as my outing was. Cheers to you from Karen at mobtruths.com.

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 16/10/2016 at 4:20 pm

      I absolutely love that! So awesome as most of the time that is what it is like! most of the perfect photos probably took 10 photos to get that anyway! Wish I could have seen them! Love those moments when later you will look back on and remember that it was an awesome day because of all the other stuff too. The fight, the car battery, it all made that memory. Thank you for reading and here is to imperfect days that actually are pretty good! xx

  • Reply Spicemylife 14/10/2016 at 7:44 pm

    I love your post! Motherhood is messy, you can take perfect pictures but it will not make everything right. Happy kids is what I care about!

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 17/10/2016 at 10:10 am

      Happy kids is definitely the goal. It sure is messy, but a good messy and we definitely should embrace that rather than hide it. Here is to messy! xx

  • Reply Stacey Kemeys 14/10/2016 at 6:39 pm

    Loved this! and it looks like you have a heap of loyal followers! 78 shares for this post aone and a stack of comments! Keeping it authentic is obviously working for you! I am new to the world of social media too! It’s an odd beast but as a blogger one I think we have to embrace, but embrace in a way that works for us!

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 16/10/2016 at 4:17 pm

      Yes, and it is easy to get caught up in social media. I got an email the other day saying thank you that this was a timely post for them and that completely made my day. It is so easy to get caught up in wanting to be liked, which is natural for people but also remembering what we do it for. Thank you for reading! xx

  • Reply [email protected] 13/10/2016 at 1:18 pm

    It’s hard not to compare… I’ve been blogging for 7.5 years and sometimes catch myself comparing myself to others who have been doing it for a much shorter time but who have much more impressive numbers.

    I always come back to the connections I’ve made through blogging. I’m still in touch with a handful of people who started blogging around the same time I did, in spring 2009 (most of them don’t blog anymore). I have readers who email me out of the blue, maybe once a year when something touches them (I always think they have long given up, especially since I drastically changed the focus of my blog last year). I love that I’ve made new connections in the last year and feel comfortable to reach out and ask for advice and that others value and ask for my opinion.

    Great post that made me think! 🙂

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 13/10/2016 at 1:42 pm

      Thanks Andrea for your comments! That is so lovely and so great to make an impact on people and their lives. I have actually been surprised in the very short time I have been blogging to have discovered such a wonderful community of women, many of which I hope I get to know for a while yet. I didn’t quite expect such support. It is so easy to get caught up in the numbers game, and your comments are exactly why we need to focus on the quality, not the quantity. Thank you for reading xx

  • Reply Paula @ Easy Baby Life 12/10/2016 at 10:45 pm

    This is great! And it is difficult! I’ve been hiding behind my writing for several years – shy to go out in the online social world. But I have reconsidered and you empower me. Thanks!

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 13/10/2016 at 9:19 am

      Oh I hope so! I just write for me, it isn’t perfect and structured but it makes me happy. I would love to read some of your stuff. xx 🙂

  • Reply Vy Tran 12/10/2016 at 5:58 pm

    I think we all go through this, it’s a tough balance between who we want to present ourselves as versus who we really are. I think you’ve got a great article here, I’ve always struggled with being unsure about my presence on social media forgetting that it is suppose to be a representation of MY life experiences regardless of what others think or do.

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 12/10/2016 at 9:41 pm

      It sure is a tough balance, and it is nice to know that I am not alone! It is easy to get caught up but important to come back to what you want to represent and not worry about what others think. Certainly not easy to put into practice all the time. Appreciate your thoughts too. 🙂

  • Reply Maxabella 12/10/2016 at 2:15 pm

    Indeed we do! I always figure that if I really wanted to create the kind of content that I am envious of, I probably would. But I don’t because it’s ‘not me’ and that’s the most important thing of all. x

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 12/10/2016 at 9:04 pm

      It sure is. That is the point I always bring myself back to and you are right, it is definitely the most important. Thanks for reading! xx

  • Reply Drew 12/10/2016 at 12:47 pm

    Great post. Be you!

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 12/10/2016 at 9:10 pm

      Thanks very much! Yes most important thing you can do. 🙂

  • Reply Kate 12/10/2016 at 12:44 pm

    Amen! You have a really important message here. Thanks for sharing! And for the reminder!

  • Reply Marian 12/10/2016 at 12:22 pm

    Definitely a great read as I focus on growing my blog and online presence. Thanks for sharing

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 12/10/2016 at 1:24 pm

      There is so much to think about when you start putting yourself out there online. Thanks for reading x

  • Reply Annissa 12/10/2016 at 11:43 am

    I rarely share much on my personal social media accounts-in fact, I haven’t been on my personal Instagram account for months. I love sharing on my blog accounts. I guess I’m more concerned about being judged by family and friends. As far as numbers go, it’s more important to me to have people follow me who really care about my recipes and a low-carb lifestyle than just a bunch of ghost followers. I’m still trying to figure out how people get thousands of followers!

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 12/10/2016 at 1:05 pm

      I totally agree that I would prefer followers who are genuine and want to follow you rather than just people who do engage. Yes, some people have so many!! I like sharing on my blog too but yes sometimes hope the family don’t learn too much!! Thanks for sharing and reading xx

  • Reply Melinda 12/10/2016 at 10:41 am

    This was great to read! I often am very hesitant when posting to social media….I need to remember “this is me!”

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 12/10/2016 at 1:01 pm

      It is a tricky one because you are putting yourself out there which is open to anything really. But we shouldn’t worry about the perfect images and just be comfortable with what we have. It’s our life and we are happy and that will show in the pictures. xx

  • Reply Julie Maloney 12/10/2016 at 10:21 am

    I was talking to my dietician about this last week and she said to me, “You can’t take someone’s Facebook seriously. Very few people post what’s real. It’s like they’re always on vacation and their kids are perfect. It’s just not true.” and that make me feel so much better.

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 13/10/2016 at 9:18 am

      It’s very true! People only post what they want people to see, definitely a good thing to remember I think. I will remember that! 🙂

  • Reply Paige Strand 12/10/2016 at 9:10 am

    I agree. My ex-colleague recommended that I make everything private as to not offend others (despite that I don’t post much that would be considered taboo lol). Like I get that there should be some etiquette, and I get that what we post online on social will likely be viewed in the event of new job opportunities, but life is too short to live so over-protected.

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 12/10/2016 at 9:37 am

      That is very true. We can worry about what we put up on social media, but we also shouldn’t be ashamed of who we are or offending other people, unless we are being completely offensive which I am sure wasn’t the case! Definitely needs to be some balance xx

  • Reply Alyssa larsen 12/10/2016 at 8:59 am

    I struggle with this soo much! I compare myself a lot to other bloggers in my niche and often feel my photos aren’t good enough. I used to post on instagram, and then take it down if it didn’t get as many likes as I wanted! I’ve now stopped myself from doing that and it feels so much better! Thanks for sharing!

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 12/10/2016 at 9:34 am

      Definitely don’t take them down. I think we all need to focus less on the numbers. So glad you don’t do that anymore and it would feel way, way better! Thanks for sharing, we need to love our photos because they are us! xx

  • Reply Sydnie 12/10/2016 at 8:24 am

    100%! Damn those pristine Instagram accounts with perfectly edited, professional photos 3 times a day! lol. It’s tough not to compare yourself to them, but comparison is the thief of joy, is it not? I love the peppered profanities throughout your post, very entertaining to read, and encouraging as well. Thanks for sharing, I think if more people talked about feeling this way it wouldn’t be such an epidemic 🙂 Look forward to reading more, thanks for being authentic <3

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 12/10/2016 at 9:32 am

      Thank you so much for your comments and yes I did get angry with those pristine accounts, but I shouldn’t really. I should respect them for what they do and just concentrate on me. I agree if we talk more about not being perfect we can all work together not against each other. Thanks so much for reading and your valued opinions and comments xx

  • Reply anne kathryn 12/10/2016 at 2:59 am

    Thank you for this article! Yes, just be you! People will love you for it! It’s amazing how the blogging world connects us to so many people. Instead of numbers maybe we should remember what you say. Even if you have inspired one person, you have done what you set out to do!

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 12/10/2016 at 7:58 am

      That is exactly right! It is so easy to get caught up in the numbers, when like you said if one person is inspired or uplifted by what you say, then that is good enough for me! It has surprised me how many wonderful connections I have made in the blogging world. Thanks so much for reading xx

  • Reply Clare 11/10/2016 at 3:12 pm

    I personally like the bloggers that aren’t trying to put forward a ‘perfect facade’ with perfect photo’s etc. I like it when people are real and genuine and being honest with the highs and low in life. ….. and it looks like that is what you are trying to do. I like it, thats great, I like the informal family shots with mess in the back ground!…. and am now going to follow you on facebook for this reason 🙂 I think it is more relatable to the readers and helps us all realise that we are not the only ones who might (for example) stay in their PJ’s all day or have light bulbs missing 😉 This weekend I have spent hours fixing up images to post on my blog and I didn’t enjoy it. I am not a photographer but found myself wishing I was. What I discovered this weekend is that photo editing takes A LOT of time that I just don’t have. I am never going to have one of those Blogs with beautiful bright perfect looking studio photo’s and “that is me”.

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 11/10/2016 at 8:54 pm

      And don’t forget the pile of washing that has been side swiped onto the floor off the dining table too!! I agree, the blogs and sites I like the most are the ones like you have mentioned. It isn’t all wonderful all the time and half the time I don’t go in the photos cause I just got out of bed!! I agree the editing does take serious amounts of time which no of us have and I like your comment about not enjoying it. Once you don’t enjoy it, it isn’t fun anymore and it should be. Thank you for following along and for reading xxx

  • Reply Agent Spitback 11/10/2016 at 9:45 am

    LOVED this post!!! Something I really really really needed to read today. I doubt myself all the time, and you’re right we should be proud of “this is me”.

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 11/10/2016 at 8:51 pm

      Absolutely!!! I think we are already our own worst critics and social media does not help at all! I am so glad it helped, that’s the bit I get chuffed about the most. You should be very proud of you xxx

  • Reply The Year Of The Daffodil 11/10/2016 at 9:25 am

    *Oh I meant I try to shy away from numbers – It is not always easy, I have to say…I have had my moments

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 11/10/2016 at 8:45 pm

      Yes I knew what you meant. It is definitely very easy to get completely caught up in the numbers. I go into that zone occasionally and then try to tell myself to get a grip!!

  • Reply The Year Of The Daffodil 11/10/2016 at 9:21 am

    Great post! I have honestly wrestled so much in this first year of blogging with all of these things, even though I told myself constantly I wouldn’t, that I wasn’t worried about it – it is so easy to get overwhelmed and consumed by that world. A top blogger I have read about said that with his blogging business there is never enough likes or followers – and he has thousands – he is always looking for more – which makes me ask what is enough? I tend to try to shy away from numbers and try to focus on just speaking what is true to me and learning as I go. I have grown so much this year through dealing with all of those uncomfortable feelings. I think I went into this to encourage others, but I have grown so much more than I could have imagined. I think you are amazing Suzy, I love seeing your photo’s in my newsfeed and sharing in your life and your insights. Thanks as always for your wisdom and bravery in sharing.

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 11/10/2016 at 8:45 pm

      Oh thank you as always. I think that is a really interesting point. Do we want millions of followers and if we had them when would it be enough? It is amazing when new things challenge you and entering into this world I have learnt so much too that I imagine in a years time I will definitely be able to reflect quite a lot. In saying that, I never ever expected to “meet” so many amazing people, you being one of them that are so supportive and wonderful. I feel like I have learnt so much from the blogs I enjoy reading, especially yours and we need to focus on that rather than that other stuff. I will definitely think of that next time I feel down. Quality over quantity right? xxx

  • Reply Lauren 11/10/2016 at 8:29 am

    Beautiful post Suzy. Often a bad day yesterday, this is exactly what I needed to read this morning

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 11/10/2016 at 8:39 pm

      Oh good Lauren! If something I write helps one person feel better then I am super happy. Sometimes we just need to remind ourselves of these things. Hoping today is a much better day and thank you for reading xxx

  • Reply Lisa 11/10/2016 at 8:19 am

    Love this! And your comment about the wrestling company and the nude guys with candles, too funny, and unfortunately very true!

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 11/10/2016 at 8:38 pm

      Thank you! Yes unfortunately those followers are real!! Thanks for reading xxx

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