Life really is a pretty crazy place. Regardless of what you believe in, the journey of being alive is truly amazing. I have personally wondered if things really do happen for a reason, is karma a real thing, is there such things as fate and destiny? Are we truly taken on the path we were meant to be on or is it all just one big giant fluke? Sliding door moments that are just chance? Do things happen for a reason? I have always liked to think so. I have always felt our path is the path we are meant to walk.
I won’t try to solve life’s mystery over on my little blog but it certainly is amazing at how life has its’ twists and turns and the journey that life takes you on. I started this blog as a way of documenting change that was going to happen for our family. We wanted change, a lifestyle change, a new adventure and new things to discover. The chance to explore and try to gain a deeper meaning than slaving to the dollar signs. A chance for our children to discover all that life has to offer and that all our emphasis is not placed on money, and how big your car, house, boat and mortgage is. It is more than that and we wanted it to be simpler than it was. This didn’t mean that we were unhappy. We weren’t and we aren’t.
Our journey for many years has been to move to New Zealand. But it has taken years to make this decision for oh, so many reasons. Most of those reasons revolved around the risk. The risk of so many aspects of our life. Could we take those risks? No crystal ball was ever going to tell us if it would be worth it or all fall apart. We have thought long and hard about this and not rushed into anything to try to make the right decision for our family. So we finally put the wheels in motion and we put our house in Sydney on the market and started the dice rolling.
Within weeks the house had sold and for one whole week, I thought we had made the wrong decision. My security blanket was ripped from right underneath me and I didn’t like it one bit. I wanted to go back in time, change the course of the future and stay where we were. After searching for change and what and where we could go to create that change, here I was scared shitless.
We booked our flights to head to New Zealand to go house hunting and see the schools, all the while all the things we had been terrified about and thought as the negatives were looming in my head. There would be so many positives but this move was HUGE and it was a huge risk in more ways than one.
But then life has a funny way of pathways clearing up or new pathways suddenly appearing. As you work through a journey of change and process so many things in your mind and you look for those answers or signs everywhere sometimes one can just land on your doorstep, sometimes once you get the wheels in motion.
It was a Monday morning and 6 days before we flew out to our beloved New Zealand. I was searching all the properties we would be looking at while we were there. During this whole process, we had always talked about if we didn’t move to New Zealand what would be our options. We needed those options too. We have a business in Sydney and that was always going to be tough to sort out. It is our livelihood and when you have a family this played on our minds a lot. If we did stay in Sydney, we wanted acreage. We wanted to be out of Sydney but not too far out of Sydney and we wanted land. We wanted the rural lifestyle and the community. We wanted to be out of the rat race. It wasn’t ever our thing and we didn’t belong in that place.
I scrolled through the real estate, which I had done for what seemed like years and a house popped up that I hadn’t seen with a lovely big block of land attached to it that wasn’t all bushland and as usual just a little out of price range, because let’s face it, we all search above what we can’t afford! My husband suggested we go for a drive and take a look.
We got there and we saw and we knew. The path suddenly seemed clear and we saw the way forward. This path was different to what we had hoped for, but it felt right and we could see ourselves walking it. The other path to New Zealand felt like I would constantly be dodging sticks and falling trees but this seemed clear. This change was not New Zealand but it would still be a huge change. We would be in a rural community, a smaller community, the move would not be as far and across the sea, we would still be within a good distance to family and friends. We could visualise our life there and we knew it felt right. We spent the night discussing back and forth the pros and cons for both. It was hard, but this felt more sure and right than anything I had felt in the last few months. And just like that within 4 more days, the house was ours.
It is hard letting go of dreams. In some ways, I feel like a failure. I didn’t feel brave anymore and perhaps I shouldn’t keep this blog alive. After all, that was what it was about. Being brave. It is hard deciphering as an adult and a parent what if a dream is worth pursuing or just down right selfish and silly. Trying to navigate what is not just right for you but your family. So many people relying on you and how you help create and form their future. But life has a funny way of going about things. It felt like fate. And we have been brave. We are changing everything for our family and kids. It isn’t the same change, but it is changing. It felt like we were meant to be there at that moment and I know that this journey forward, this tree change of sorts will be amazing.
As they say, if plan A doesn’t work, there are 25 more letters, and I think our letter just popped up. May all our journeys be amazing.