Yep, I love a glass of wine. Quite a bit really. That may be one of the small but many reasons that is part of my love for New Zealand. I tend to indulge in a lot of their Sauvignon Blanc and Pinot Noirs. We are lucky to get a good variety over here, but what surprises me is that Australian wine is often cheaper over there than it is here. Maybe someone can explain that to me. I don’t understand how it works, I just drink it. Often on a Sunday night I sit back with a glass of wine (well it usually ends up a bit more than that) and have reflections on life and reflect on the week that has been, what I have done and what I could have done better. Usually the main thing I feel exceptionally guilty about is
- Not having spent enough quality time with the kids
- Maybe too much yelling at the kids
- Worrying more about the state of chaos around me than just spending time with the kids
- Using my phone and looking at it way, way too much
- I can’t really cook very well and it’s just lucky for us that I married someone who can
- Have I eaten too much take away this weekend? Probably
- Am I generally happy with how my life is going? Mostly and getting there
- Are all these changes we are aiming for the right thing to do? No crystal balls here
- Have I been the best I could be this week? Mmmm, always debatable
- Is all this going to work out? Still no crystal balls
Quite a lot really to take on board on a Sunday night. This isn’t a mummy blog but I am on the subject of change and really change comes in a number of forms. I have always been a person to try to make myself better, behave better, treat people better and just try to do better at the things I suck at. It is hard to change who you are, I am quite bossy, I can be really impatient and I often say things the wrong way and don’t mean to and then feel really stupid.
Each week I look back on really the same things as I sit with a glass of wine or two, I do spend time with my kids and have lots of great times but I always think I can do better. I definitely am on my phone way too often. Sometimes when they are playing together I just pick it up and have a scroll when I should watch them, see them and enjoy this time with them as they play as brother and sister. And well, in the cooking department, last week my husband had to text me the instructions for dinner. I really am not that hopeless but perhaps I should face facts that if you are getting a text about which vegetables to put on at what time is really saying something.
I really should be embarrassed about writing that part. Anyway, moving onward and upwards so they say. It all comes down to do I want to keep sitting back swilling my glass of wine and beating myself up or am I going to do something about it. So, this week I have some goals:
- Every afternoon when I get home from work I am going to put my phone on the sideboard and not pick it up until the kids have gone to bed…sorry husband we will still talk!!!!
- Trying not to rant too much and be more patient with the kids
- I don’t have an excuse for the chaos so it will remain unchanged but I will not worry even less about it than it looks like I already do.
- I am going to cook dinner at least one night (gulp) for everyone
- Maybe just get takeaway one night on the weekend instead of two
- Stop stressing about whether what we are doing is the right thing and just go with it, note to self there are not crystal balls
Right then. I have a lot to be thankful for and I should focus on that and I’ve really put myself to task here! Do I think I can actually change anything? I wonder how well at the end of the week I will have done. If you don’t hear from me again, I am either in the mental hospital because my family don’t know who this person is being really nice and calm and not running around the house like a lunatic all the time or I’m in jail from killing the family due to food poisoning. Take your pick. I’ll just sit back with the last glass of wine and study this Women’s Weekly “The Basic Cookbook” with step by step photos. I think I got given this book as a subtle hint from the mother in law a few years back.