Hold On, Wait I’m The Adult?

Wait, I am the adult?

My “hold on, wait I’m the adult?” moment was a bit like the time I was standing at the dog park in fairly muddy conditions and our dog, who was a rather large Boxer (we lost him last year at the ripe age of 13), came running towards me and I realised that he wasn’t going to stop, he was going to take me out.  He hit the skids, tried to stop but no I was straight down, legs out from under me, flat on the ground in the mud in jeans and an overcoat.  It all happened so fast, I didn’t have time to react but despite how I felt, or my husband running to make sure I was okay and concealing his own laughter, I couldn’t stop laughing.  I couldn’t stop laughing at the vision of someone else seeing what had happened and how ridiculous it would have looked.  I had tears rolling down my face and all I could think of was did someone had film it, because I would have definitely taken out the $10,000 Funniest Home Video prize that day.

That’s pretty much how I felt the moment I was standing in the kitchen while the kids ran and squawked at each other and me while they both fired a million questions like bullets racing past my head, arguing at each other about who said what first, who’s turn it was on the Ipad, why weren’t there any clean clothes, where were their homework folders and colouring pencils, it was then that I got mentally (thankfully this time) taken out.  Like I was face first back in the mud again and it dawned on me “Hold On, What Am I?”  You may call me slow but I am now 37 and I think it happens to most of us that we suddenly realise we are the adult.  It’s us.  There is no adultier adult to take charge and tell us what to do.  Surely there is someone doing this better than me, killing it in the adult department.  How did I get here? And how did I get here so fast?

being an adult

The kids are going to be asking me for advice. What Am I?  I am the adult!  Ha!  I got asked the other morning how did the sky make so many colours.  I suddenly thought, shit.  I don’t know. How much MORE stuff will I not know?  I was sure that every single question I asked my parents they knew the answer…Didn’t they?  Or did they?  Perhaps you are so in awe of your parents you don’t see all the little things that I pick myself apart about now, the little imperfections.  The not being adult moments and really having no clue at all, just making the lot up as you go along and stuffing up heaps of times in the process.

I thought I still had time to work stuff out – to be successfully adulting, to get it all together but now I have realised over the last few years…

none of us have it together.  We are all making it up

as we go along.

Some of us claim to have it together but even they don’t really have a clue, they are just better at hiding it.  I am a big talker and I have the problem that I wear my heart on my sleeve.  I tell my friends how I feel and if I have had a bad day or morning, it shows.  I can’t pretend when I am chatting to the mums in the playground that my kids have been angels this morning and packed away all of their crap, I can’t really hide if husband and I have had some sort of major blue over usually something ridiculous, my house is never perfect in fact it’s a downright mess and I like to throw the word “homely” around a lot. I do  raise my voice at the kids because sometimes I just don’t know what else to do and their science projects probably won’t top the class because I don’t have any idea what I am talking about.  I’m not perfect but for some reason, I just assumed that when you became an adult you got perfect somehow and were worldly and wise and just knew how to do stuff.

I thought I would have worked all this out by now and be a total pro at this age at the adulting thing.  The art of mastering work, life, exercise, clean house, organising, being a role model to my kids and other kids who we hang out with, having a clean car, knowing what’s happening in the local community, being able to discuss world issues, understand exactly what Donald Trump is trying to achieve as President, paying the bills, knowing how to hem a pair of pants, not getting too drunk at the party and just all the stuff that I thought being an adult was all about.  I look back at my mum and she seemed to just have it all together – worked full time, cooked dinner, everyone’s clothes were always back in their drawers, the house was clean.  Maybe she was just winging it too but I just didn’t see it.

I think that my brain  that although has matured since around the age of 20-25 actually still thinks it’s about 20-25 just without all the night clubbing, drinking until 4am and spending all my money.  I have grown up and matured but I am the role model now, the one who should know the answers, be able to solve problems.  When I catch up with friends and we discuss worldly matters  (only occasionally) I should know how to talk about these issues, have opinions and be knowledgeable in all facets of life.  The thing is I am not.  Don’t get me wrong I have some fantastic conversations with my friends about life, what’s important, lots of talking about parenting and lots of ridiculous banter that we keep ourselves amused with, with the odd drunk meaning of life conversation thrown in as always.  I find these conversations very meaningful but to someone else they probably seem dumb and not adult enough or mature enough.  We talk about the little moments, that to me count so much more.

Age is just a number, and reality is learning there’s no such thing as being an adult, you only grow older and if you’re lucky maybe a little wiser.

Really though at the end of the day, that isn’t what our kids want and I don’t think that is what my friends want.  I don’t think they care that we have to google just about every scientific fact they ask us or that we are really bad at the art project.  I don’t think my friends care about the fact I have no idea about the American presidential debate or that my house isn’t out of a Vogue magazine.  What’s important is how I conduct myself and if that means being silly and laughing like I did at the same jokes I did at 25, well that isn’t so bad.  I want to be a great role model to my family and I can do that by just being me.  I am a good friend, I try to be a good listener, I set my kids’ boundaries and teach them manners, I try to improve myself all the time and I can be mature, well sometimes.  I won’t get it right all the time and I definitely won’t know all the answers, the kids will be telling me all the new stuff but I am trying to successfully adult as best as I can and the best mother and the best friend, I won’t get it right all the time but I will always try.


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  • Reply Agent Spitback 03/08/2016 at 10:06 pm

    I loved this post. I think I have had many “adulating” panic moments – thinking oh no, was I supposed to know that/do that? Who knows? I know for a fact my mind does think like she’s still 24, the way she thinks the body can still burn off all the junk food no matter how much I talk to her.

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 03/08/2016 at 11:04 pm

      Thank you! I imagine that as the kids get older it is only going to get worse!! Oh yes don’t get me started on the junk food and just food in general. Nice to know that we are all just winging it together. 🙂 Thanks so much for reading.

  • Reply Mudpie Fridays 28/06/2016 at 7:52 am

    Oh no …. I’ve just turned 37 so does that mean the same realisation is about to hit me too? It’s funny despite being a mother of two I still think I’m about 25! It was such a good age, I met my husband, we moved in together, I paid off my student debt and spent everything I earned! How times have changed. Maybe when the boys get older I’ll feel more adultier? Thanks for joining us at #BloggerClubUK hope to see you again this week X

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 28/06/2016 at 12:52 pm

      Ha ha! I may have been a late bloomer but like you said I still feel 25 too. It was such a good age, I am sure to a point I will never grow up. Thanks for having me. 🙂

  • Reply NiciaBrighteyes 25/06/2016 at 1:38 pm

    This is great. I had a moment when I realized my Adultier Adults were moving out of state and panicked because I’m a terrible adult but I guess I’m getting to be more adultier adultish. So this gives me hope!

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 25/06/2016 at 5:31 pm

      Both my parents were overseas a few months ago and although I have not lived at home for almost 20 years I still panicked about it being me that was the adult! I am sure most of us never really truly get there! All the best with being adultier! 🙂

  • Reply Fridgesays 23/06/2016 at 6:10 am

    I’m in denial. I refuse to give in to adulting, it seems to age you further and make you bitter. Stay ‘you’ and fffffffff ‘ flip flop’ the aging process, kids have way. Ore fun anyway – plus we can legally drink too 😉

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 23/06/2016 at 10:36 am

      I am with you in this!! Say no and keep rocking on! Always happy to stay a big kid. Thanks for reading ??

  • Reply Samantha @ Momma Wants Java 22/06/2016 at 10:33 pm

    LOVE this! As a child I was 100% certain that my parents knew everything, but already I’m floundering at some of the questions my 4-year-old asks. My mom tells me she just made stuff up. 🙂

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 23/06/2016 at 7:54 am

      Ha ha! Love her honesty. Well sometimes we do just have to make stuff up! Sometimes to not tell the whole truth or because we just don’t know! Homework is only going to get harder!!

  • Reply Anvita 22/06/2016 at 12:56 pm

    So beautifully written. I still wonder how my parents always got it right as i always looked up to them for answers. I realize today as i am a parent now, it’s not easy

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 22/06/2016 at 8:03 pm

      Thank you so much! I know, I am really enjoying knowing that it isn’t just me who feels this way. It definitely isn’t easy but I am sure we are getting it right most of the time. 🙂

  • Reply Amanda 22/06/2016 at 9:59 am

    I love this. It is amazing how put together our parents seemed to us. I know I don’t ever feel like I have it together. It is so scary being the Adult and not having someone else to look to for the answers!!! I will definitely be reading more of your post

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 22/06/2016 at 10:44 am

      It’s so true, it is scary. Sometimes you just have to hope you have said and done the right thing! Hopefully the good and the bad all balances out in the end! Thanks so much for your comments and reading my post, I really appreciate it. Look forward to following on with you too 🙂

  • Reply Cate 20/06/2016 at 2:51 pm

    Such a great article! We really are all just making this up as we go along..,and I have a boxer pup myself, they are such fun! I’m sure your pup had a long and happy life. Thanks for sharing!! ??

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 20/06/2016 at 7:06 pm

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting. Oh boxer pups are the best, they are such great characters. We miss him so much, he was our first baby but yes he did have a great life. 🙂

  • Reply Charlene_TTMN 19/06/2016 at 7:38 pm

    Oh the joys of adulthood, and parenthood! You hit the nail on the head with this one! Thanks for sharing with us on Friday Favourites.

  • Reply Sheila 18/06/2016 at 9:53 pm

    This made me laugh because it is so true! Thanks for the advice on how to handle the situation.

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 19/06/2016 at 10:50 am

      Thanks so much for reading, glad it made you laugh. Sometimes as an adult that is really all you can do!! 🙂

  • Reply Heather with WELLFITandFED 18/06/2016 at 12:18 pm

    It’s funny I had an accomplishment recently where I stood next to people I had admired and revered. I realized (very quickly) that they too are just making their way the best they can. Little kids in big bodies. Love this.

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 18/06/2016 at 3:57 pm

      That’s exactly right! Yes it is a funny when you realise everyone is in the same boat! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. 🙂

  • Reply natalie 17/06/2016 at 7:20 am

    I love this – I often feel like a little girl playing house. I cant quite believe that I am in charge of 2 little people who look to me for answers. I always thought my parents knew everything but now I realise they were just winging it – just like me!

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 17/06/2016 at 10:57 am

      I know! We use to love playing house and here we are! There is definitely comfort in now knowing we are all winging it! Thanks for reading. 🙂

  • Reply Demelza 14/06/2016 at 6:44 pm

    I absolutely love this. I have often thought how when I was younger I saw my mum as so much older and wiser. And now that I am that age I have realised that she must have struggled too and not always had all of the answers. I love what you said about being the best we can be and setting a good example…I have started thinking that this is perhaps the best way to live and parent. Anyway that’s what I am hanging onto because I wing it a lot and have no idea what I am doing half the time. Thanks so much for your honesty. You are awesome.

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 14/06/2016 at 10:20 pm

      Thank you so much for your kind words and your thoughts! I remember being so shocked when I realised that my parents were just people too. We are definitely all just winging it but it’s good to know they won’t remember the science projects, it’s all the other stuff. 🙂

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