The House Is Empty But My Heart Is Full

08/08/2016

It’s Sunday morning and I have woken up to a completely empty house. The house is empty but my heart is full.   No kids and no husband.  I repeat.  No kids and no husband.  This is the first time in 7 whole years that this has ever happened.  No, I haven’t left them and decided to run away to Mexico.  The kids are spending a lovely weekend at Nana and Pop’s house as they do sometimes.  Normally they go and stay with them every 3 months or so and this gives us a really nice break.  Husband and I have been together for 17 years and we are best friends.  It’s crazy that when the kids are away we can literally talk for hours.  It’s almost like we talk more when I always think we will run out of things to talk about.  I really feel that the kids get so much out of this, they probably get spoilt rotten and always come back super tired and full of treats but it is lovely for them to get away and spend some time with the grandparents.  It is also so important for us as parents to have a break too.  We can recharge our batteries and relax.  We aren’t running on kids time we are running on our time.  That period of time between 3pm and 7pm goes so slowly without kids!  You don’t realise how much time the whole bed and bath routine takes up!  Last night I just sat and watch television and had a glass of wine and it was lovely!my heart is full

This time was different.  Husband is an avid mountain bike rider and has been for some time.  There was a race on and he wanted to race in it so he is away as well!  This is the first time I have been in the house completely on my own!  Our beloved Boxer dog passed away last year after 13 years so I didn’t even have him to bring in for cuddles.  It is a really strange feeling.  I mean don’t get me wrong I took this as a great opportunity to have some me time but at the same time, I miss them like crazy.

As I walk around the empty house everything I look at is little pieces of our family.  It is filled with random lego men, toys scattered in the dining room after their last game, paintings on the fridge, fairy stickers stuck to the carpet and unfortunately, several piles of clothes still needing to be folded since Thursday.  Little reminders of them are everywhere and it completely fills my heart with joy and love.  Our home while empty is so full.  Full of love, laughter, sometimes tears and angry voices but so full of happiness.  That overwhelming feeling of love fills my heart and although I am alone, I am content and fulfilled by what we have created and the feelings that flow from these walls.

I am a mother but I am also me.

I am not just the cranky, bossy mum that dictates the rules of the house.  I am fun, warm, genuine.  I enjoy walking, running, watching movies, catching up with friends, shopping.  All this I can do in this time as myself and no one else.

It makes you think a lot about your family and your kids.  When they are away I always think about the things I can do better when they get back.  Patience is my biggest problem.  I can be really impatient with the kids and I struggle to sometimes not get cranky about what they are doing, hurrying them along to get ready or getting angry with them for not doing something in a certain time frame.  I will try to do better.  And I think when you have a break you can try and reset.  I will try again.  Years ago I never really liked too much time to myself but now I am comfortable with myself, I enjoy my own company and I am happy with my life and where I am at. I like delving into myself when I have this time to reflect and think about what is important to me.  Analyse myself for how I can make things better, or behave better.  Teach my kids better.  Sometimes treat my husband better.  Self-analysis is a good thing and is healthy to do.  Looking at the year ahead and thinking about all the possibilities of what may happen with our lives.  Will we move or won’t we?  How will the house build go?  How will the whole move fall into place?  I have no answers to the future but I like to focus on what we may be achieving and how that will change me and our family.

I don’t mind looking at things that I can do better and also look at the things that I am good at.  What I am happy about is that inside these walls is a wonderful, caring and amazing family that I am lucky to have and be a part of.  Two beautiful children with amazing personalities that I learn from every day and an amazing husband that is supportive and generous.

I have truly enjoyehome empty heart fulld this time to myself.  I won’t get it again for a very long time, if ever so to have time to just be you, hang out as you and not answer to anyone is truly special.

And what do you know, within a few short hours the house is back bursting with everyone again, it’s like it didn’t happen.  The kids are fighting over the coffee table and the new cars they were given by the grandparents, the husband is tired after his race and needs a rest and so here we are, back to the chaos, the loudness, the laughter and the love.  But you know I wouldn’t have it any other way because they are the bones of this house and everything in it.  I thoroughly enjoyed just hanging out with myself.  As much as I missed them I felt I got reconnected with myself and I can now take a big stride straight back into the chaos of the Lyons Den.

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58 Comments

  • Reply Chelsea 11/01/2017 at 11:50 am

    Great post! I only have 1 son but being alone is very needed! Unfortunately in winter months my alone time consists of early mornings while he sleeps because we can’t drive, but it does the trick to rejuvenate me to be better at what he needs that day!

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 11/01/2017 at 8:27 pm

      Thanks for reading! Yes, just some time to focus on just you! Sometimes I like sometime in the morning to myself before the kids wake up! Even just a coffee. Glad you get some time too. 🙂

  • Reply Erika @ Ever-changing Life of a Mum 15/08/2016 at 1:47 pm

    Beautiful post. We all need to hit the reset button every now and again xx

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 15/08/2016 at 2:48 pm

      Absolutely. So important to step back into who we were and are sometimes. Thanks for reading xx

  • Reply Emily | emilybogner.com 15/08/2016 at 6:51 am

    That’s so great that you were able to get some time for yourself! I think every mom should get this sometimes. I never do unfortunately because I don’t have any help but if I did I’d definitely take advantage of those moments. Glad you got to enjoy that break and be excited to have your kids and hubby back home again! 🙂

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 15/08/2016 at 10:11 am

      It is so hard when you don’t have any help, we all deserve that time out and it would be much harder if we didn’t have our parents around. It was great but love it being back to chaos again! Thanks for reading. 🙂

  • Reply Kell @ All Mum Said 14/08/2016 at 9:13 pm

    I could only dream of having the house to myself. I have not had this happen in almost 10 years! I am hanging it.
    I loved this post, so full of love and so very real. Stopping by from #MummyMondays

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 15/08/2016 at 7:21 am

      Thank you so much for you kind words and for taking the time to read. Oh no! You really need it more than me! It does feel nice to have a little bit of you back. I do hope you get some time for you soon! We all deserve it. 🙂

  • Reply kelly 14/08/2016 at 9:09 pm

    I can totally relate!

  • Reply Amy @ HandbagMafia 14/08/2016 at 8:55 pm

    It’s like hitting reset, that time alone. Lovely piece.

  • Reply Anna Brophy 14/08/2016 at 8:08 am

    That quiet time is so precious. It is so important for us to stop, breathe and ‘reset’; love that. I crave some space sometimes; then when I get it, I crave to see their little faces!

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 14/08/2016 at 9:03 pm

      So true. The days are few and far between so I think that is why I tried to soak it up so much and try and really value that time. But yes I don’t like it being very often at all! Thanks for reading. 🙂

  • Reply Jacq Writes World 13/08/2016 at 11:41 am

    I feel the same way. Sometimes, when everyone is in the house and it’s all messy, I want alone time. But when I do have alone time, I start to miss my little man and hubby. Haha! ❤️❤️❤️ Thanks for sharing Suzy.

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 13/08/2016 at 5:54 pm

      I know! Isn’t t crazy!!! The alone time is fee and far between so it’s nice but definitely like the chaos. Thank you for reading ?

  • Reply Helen K 13/08/2016 at 10:35 am

    Lovely post – really enjoyed reading it! So glad you feel so recharged!

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 13/08/2016 at 5:52 pm

      Thank you so much. That means a lot. Definitely feel recharged.

  • Reply Stephanie Cox 11/08/2016 at 12:09 am

    Alone time is precious when you are a parent but the other side of that is it’s a bit unsettling having the place to yourself or being out and about alone because you always have someone with you.

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 11/08/2016 at 7:26 am

      So true! Sometimes it can be hard in your own company. Was nice to do things at my own pace though and not feel rushed. Still loved the chaos when they came back!! Thanks for reading x

  • Reply Julie Hoag 10/08/2016 at 11:52 pm

    It is odd to be alone in your house without kids or your husband. It’s a very rare thing for me, but I miss them immediately but yet still enjoy some quiet. I enjoyed reading your piece. Our house is so loud with three kids and two dogs, I enter different world when they are gone.

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 11/08/2016 at 7:25 am

      That’s exactly it, the house isn’t the same at all and I definitely wouldn’t want it like that all the time! The rare time it is definitely nice ?

  • Reply Chontelle - Bilingualkidspot 10/08/2016 at 11:10 pm

    This is a great piece, all mother’s need some time out, not just from the kids, but from our husband and kids at the same time. Like you, it rarely happens in our house, and when it does I find myself cleaning up or organising something. It is a rare moment when I will just sit down alone and do something for myself! When I do have that time, I usually write 🙂

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 11/08/2016 at 8:43 am

      Exactly!! It is so rare so it definitely felt strange! But good! Yes there was cleaning that could be done, but I wanted to savour it! I enjoy sitting down and writing too when I have that down time. 🙂

  • Reply Diedre 10/08/2016 at 7:30 pm

    First I must say how much I love your blog title. I think having some quiet time is so healthy for every mom! But it sure does feel weird when you’re used to some kind of commotion at all time. Great post!

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 10/08/2016 at 7:40 pm

      Thank you!! Definitely healthy and well deserved for us to reconnect with ourselves. Yes too used to all the commotion!! Thanks so much for reading my post and sharing your thoughts with me 🙂

  • Reply Alfa Sengupta 10/08/2016 at 1:58 pm

    I absolutely loved this. You are 100% right though. Even when my kids are gone for that much needed break, I can almost still hear the pitter patter of their feet running around. Even when they are gone, I can just see them everywhere. Love love loved this post!

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 10/08/2016 at 2:28 pm

      Oh thank you so very much!! I know, when I woke up in the morning is was so weird how quiet it was!! Definitely enjoy the chaos to a point!! Thank you for reading and sharing 🙂

  • Reply Miri 10/08/2016 at 12:54 am

    I appreciate your reflections on having alone time. Thank you for sharing.

  • Reply cara 10/08/2016 at 12:27 am

    This is such a beautiful post! It really is strange sometimes when everyone is out and the house is empty, yet it is so full of love. 🙂

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 10/08/2016 at 10:55 am

      Thank you so much! It is funny but that’s the great thing about family and I feel very lucky. Thanks so much for reading 🙂

  • Reply Kim 09/08/2016 at 11:51 am

    How awesome that you got some alone time. I am thankful that my inlaws only live 2 blocks away and the boys are always over visiting. While they are there my husband and I get out and spend some time together, run errands have a served meal or just stay home and watch a movie. Its important to have time just the two of you but just as important to have time alone.

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 09/08/2016 at 3:02 pm

      That’s so fantastic! So great that they get that time with grandparents and you can relax knowing they are safe and happy! Absolutely need time just the two of you as well and alone time. So great 🙂

  • Reply Sheryl 09/08/2016 at 10:31 am

    It is amazing how being alone can be so therapeutic. I love your site and look forward to reading more.

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 09/08/2016 at 2:23 pm

      Thanks so much Sheryl, I really appreciate that. I absolutely agree that it is very therapeutic and much needed.

  • Reply Allison - Celebrating Sweets 09/08/2016 at 7:03 am

    What a beautiful piece. Slowing down and reflecting is so important. Thanks for sharing!

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 09/08/2016 at 8:04 am

      Thank you so very much! It sure is and we probably should do it more, but life is busy. Thank you for reading. 🙂

  • Reply Amber 09/08/2016 at 6:09 am

    I just had my first day alone in the house in 17 years. It was delicious. I could not believe the volume of work I got done in one day without interruptions. I was ready for everyone to come home by the evening time but, I might not wait so long for the next time.

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 09/08/2016 at 8:28 am

      Oh wow! How fantastic. Isn’t it amazing what you can achieve!! Yes and next time leave the housework and relax! I hope you get another day sooner than 17 years. 🙂

  • Reply theOrdinaryGirl 09/08/2016 at 12:48 am

    A heart full is something many cannot get even if their pockets are over flowing 🙂

    Cherish these moments! Loved reading this <3

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 09/08/2016 at 7:31 am

      So, so true! And we have so much to be grateful for. Definitely love these moments as well as the chaos. Thank you so much for reading and letting me know your thoughts. 🙂

  • Reply Casey 09/08/2016 at 12:28 am

    We need these times to recoup, recharge and make us miss them 🙂 One of these days maybe I’ll get a few days to myself!

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 09/08/2016 at 7:30 am

      I so hope you do! I wouldn’t want it all the time but it was definitely nice! So important to recharge. 🙂

  • Reply Lindsay 08/08/2016 at 11:28 pm

    Such a great reminder! There is such a balance in motherhood between family and personal time that is super important. Sometimes I feel like it takes 3 days to get the kids in bed and then after a couple hours I just want to wake them up because I miss them (although I DON’T haha). The same rings true in the morning. When I wake up before they do I am always so tempted to wake them up because the house just isn’t the same without all the noise and chaos. It’s nice to be able to appreciate it all even when everyone is away or sleeping. Enjoy your time!

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 09/08/2016 at 7:27 am

      Absolutely! And I think sometimes being away from them does make you appreciate them even more. I know what you mean though, you do often feel like you should appreciate every minute and save the you time for later. It is nice to reconnect though. Thanks for reading and really appreciate your thoughts too! 🙂

  • Reply Mamaguru 08/08/2016 at 11:23 pm

    Touching piece. I can relate to wanting time alone, but then missing my family too. It’s important to reconnect with who we are outside of our roles as mothers.

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 09/08/2016 at 7:26 am

      Thank you and thanks for reading. It is easy to focus on being a mum and sometimes overlook still being you and it was nice to have that time for me and focus on what I love for me. Hope you get that time too. 🙂

  • Reply Maria 08/08/2016 at 11:00 pm

    “As much as I missed them I felt I got reconnected with myself and I can now take a big stride straight back into the chaos of the Lyons Den.” I loved this article. A relatable piece <3

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 08/08/2016 at 11:13 pm

      Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment. I’m glad it was something you could relate to as well.:)

  • Reply Vyjay 08/08/2016 at 5:29 pm

    A very touching and sweet post. Yes sometimes one needs some free time to oneself for introspection and re-charging, it works wonders and you are back with renewed vigour.

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 08/08/2016 at 5:46 pm

      Absolutely! Definitely recharges the batteries and sometimes gives you a bit of perspective. Thank you so much and thanks for taking the time to read 🙂

  • Reply Demelza - The Year Of The Daffodil 08/08/2016 at 4:45 pm

    Such a beautiful post. Sounds like such a nice weekend!

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 08/08/2016 at 5:45 pm

      Thank you Demelza! It was a nice break and time for just me ?

  • Reply Eva Lewis 08/08/2016 at 3:55 pm

    Such a lovely post. It’s always the way with me, I look forward to some alone time and then when I get it, I really miss my kids!

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 08/08/2016 at 3:58 pm

      Thank you! Yes it’s always the way! But definitely makes you appreciate it all a little more! Thanks for reading ?

  • Reply Mary 08/08/2016 at 12:18 pm

    Being in the house alone can feel so odd. All the reminders of the daily busy lives the we go through automatically. Enjoy the moment you are living in now. Those kiddos grow quickly

    • Reply In The Lyons Den 08/08/2016 at 12:50 pm

      Absolutely! It definitely is going very quickly! Lovely to have all the little reminders that’s for sure. Thank you for reading. 🙂

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